A Comprehensive Review of Human Bodies

Overall Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Would not recommend, but unfortunately I am already committed.

Pros:

• Can hug people.

• Can eat pie.

• Can pet dogs.

• Can dance somewhat ok at weddings.

Cons:

• Requires food multiple times a day and sleep every night.

• Randomly develops allergies.

• Can be injured by sleeping incorrectly.

• Needs maintenance forever.

Additional concerns: The body will occasionally become tired, anxious, hungry, thirsty, and overstimulated simultaneously. It can sneeze and throw out its back and as it ages grows hair in bizarre places. Consistently forgets why it walked into a room. It requires exercise, but also wants to lie on the couch. It needs water, but somehow drinking enough water is one of the hardest tasks known to humankind. The software is confusing and the user manual appears to be missing.

Would I choose this model again? Eh… Probably.

It can laugh until it cries. It can hold someone's hand. It can feel sunshine on its face.

So while I have several complaints, I suppose I will keep it. However, I would appreciate a software update and perhaps a few fewer maintenance requirements.